1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:02,000
Kasi ya sauti. Weka alama.

2
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,720
Sherry, nitakuomba usome hii

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,600
barua. Isome tu vizuri na polepole.

4
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,040
Chukua tu wakati wako.

5
00:00:17,521 --> 00:00:20,241
Hii hapa ni barua ambayo Brian aliniandikia

6
00:00:20,561 --> 00:00:23,521
nyuma mnamo Oktoba 1989.

7
00:00:24,721 --> 00:00:27,241
Mpendwa Sherry, habari. Ni

8
00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:30,001
ni ngumu sana kukuandikia barua hii.

9
00:00:30,481 --> 00:00:33,441
Samahani sana kwa uhalifu wanaosema mimi

10
00:00:33,441 --> 00:00:36,401
kujitolea. Ikiwa nilifanya hivi, huko

11
00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:39,001
ilibidi mambo mengi yaende

12
00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:41,921
kichaa kichwani mwangu. Sherry,

13
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:44,881
haijalishi ni nini kilitokea au ni nani aliyefanya,

14
00:00:45,681 --> 00:00:47,121
Nataka ujue kuwa mimi bado ni wako

15
00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:50,002
kaka, na mimi nakupenda. Unaweza kuchukia

16
00:00:50,002 --> 00:00:52,682
matumbo yangu na unataka nife chochote unachotaka,

17
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,362
lakini nakupenda. Wewe ni yote niliyo nayo

18
00:00:55,362 --> 00:00:57,442
kushoto, na sitaki kukupoteza.

19
00:01:00,722 --> 00:01:03,642
Tafadhali nikubali kama mwanadamu na sio

20
00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:06,482
mnyama. Jihadharini. Upendo

21
00:01:06,482 --> 00:01:08,482
daima na milele, ndugu yako, Brian

22
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:09,282
T. Britton.

23
00:01:18,322 --> 00:01:21,202
Barua hii kimsingi ...

24
00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:26,443
Haimaanishi chochote kwa sababu hana

25
00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:28,803
kubali kwa lolote. Hapana

26
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,523
majuto, hapana samahani kwamba nilifanya hivi.

27
00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:34,923
Ninaishi kila siku bila

28
00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:38,243
watu niliowajali, bila kuwa nao

29
00:01:38,243 --> 00:01:40,403
karibu. Huna

30
00:01:41,203 --> 00:01:43,843
hisia ya majuto. Hujawahi

31
00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:46,003
kumwaga machozi.

32
00:01:46,803 --> 00:01:49,203
Hutakubali hata kuwa... ulikubali

33
00:01:49,203 --> 00:01:51,443
ni. Mambo lazima yalikuwa mambo kwangu

34
00:01:51,443 --> 00:01:54,164
kichwa. Unajaribu kuweka lawama

35
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:56,844
kitu kingine, na ni kama, huwezi

36
00:01:56,844 --> 00:01:59,444
hata ukubali ulichofanya.

37
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:01,684
Na unataka uhuru?

38
00:02:58,405 --> 00:02:59,286
Hey, wavulana.

39
00:03:03,046 --> 00:03:04,726
Ninapenda kukukumbuka sana.

40
00:03:07,526 --> 00:03:09,766
Hakuna siku ambayo siifikirii

41
00:03:09,766 --> 00:03:10,166
wewe.

42
00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:16,626
Natamani ungekuwa hapa. I

43
00:03:18,706 --> 00:03:20,066
siwezi kuamini nimetumia

44
00:03:21,906 --> 00:03:23,626
zaidi ya nusu ya maisha yangu bila wewe.

45
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,606
Ninapoenda kwenye kaburi, ni

46
00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:31,527
inanikumbusha kuwa hivi ndivyo nilivyo

47
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:34,247
kupotea. Ningefanya chochote ili tu kuwa nao

48
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:37,167
hapa kwa kumkumbatia au busu, kwa

49
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:40,087
waambie nawapenda. Ni kama

50
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,607
Ningetoa chochote hata kusikia yao

51
00:03:41,607 --> 00:03:42,407
sauti.

52
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:49,047
Siwezi kurudisha hilo kwa sababu

53
00:03:49,047 --> 00:03:51,127
Brian alichukua kila kitu kutoka kwangu.

54
00:03:54,007 --> 00:03:56,887
Mambo yalikuwa polepole tu. inayozunguka

55
00:03:57,127 --> 00:03:59,927
pamoja naye. Kuangalia nyuma yake

56
00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,487
sasa, kuna yote

57
00:04:02,487 --> 00:04:05,408
aina za, kama, ishara. Huko nyuma, ni

58
00:04:05,408 --> 00:04:08,368
ulikuwa tu, kama, hukufanya

59
00:04:08,368 --> 00:04:09,848
fikiria kweli.

60
00:04:36,489 --> 00:04:39,129
Hapa ndipo nilipokulia, tangu umri wa

61
00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:41,689
7 hadi 19. Tulikuwa nzuri

62
00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:44,569
mara hapa. Tuliruka kamba na kupanda zetu

63
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:46,089
baiskeli kuzunguka uwanja.

64
00:04:47,689 --> 00:04:50,169
Baba yangu angechoma choma huko nje

65
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:52,489
karibu na mti, na kisha, kama, binamu yangu

66
00:04:52,489 --> 00:04:54,009
Tammy na mimi, tungekaa upande wa

67
00:04:54,009 --> 00:04:56,689
nyumba, sikiliza muziki na jua,

68
00:04:56,969 --> 00:04:59,289
na kisha Jason angetoka na kukimbia

69
00:04:59,289 --> 00:05:02,169
karibu. Brian, kwa kawaida angeweza

70
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,649
kucheza na wavulana katika barabara

71
00:05:03,649 --> 00:05:05,209
kwa sababu Jason alikuwa mdogo.

72
00:05:06,929 --> 00:05:09,570
Wakati Brian alikuwa mdogo, Brian alikuwa

73
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:12,410
mtoto mtamu zaidi, kila mara akifanya mvulana mdogo

74
00:05:12,410 --> 00:05:14,850
mambo. Angeweza kuendesha baiskeli yake kuzunguka

75
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:17,050
jirani. Alikuwa na Mechibox yake ndogo

76
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,690
magari, na alikuwa mdogo wako wa kawaida

77
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,490
kijana. Lakini

78
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,570
Brian anaweza kuwa mbinafsi nyakati fulani.

79
00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:28,810
Baba yangu angecheza michezo tofauti ya bodi

80
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:31,370
pamoja na Jason, na

81
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,010
Brian angekuwa kama, Halo, Baba, wacha tufanye

82
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,770
hili, au, Hebu tufanye lile. Ilikuwa tu kama

83
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,650
alipaswa kuwa makini na baba yangu

84
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,490
badala ya Yasoni.

85
00:05:43,371 --> 00:05:44,771
Na alisisitiza.

86
00:05:52,771 --> 00:05:54,611
Brian bila kuchoka juu yake, na yangu

87
00:05:54,611 --> 00:05:56,131
baba angekuwa kama, sawa, Jason,

88
00:05:56,131 --> 00:05:57,651
tutacheza wakati mwingine.

89
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,491
Ni kama vile amepotea

90
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:05,011
kitu - kawaida

91
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:07,491
hisia, wasiwasi,

92
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:11,051
heshima kwa watu wengine. Kama

93
00:06:11,051 --> 00:06:13,812
haimuhusu, hajali.

94
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:25,302
Hapa, ana uzima machoni pake.

95
00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:28,662
Ni ajabu tu kwamba mtu

96
00:06:29,702 --> 00:06:32,182
hivyo tamu na wasio na hatia hapa inaweza kuwa

97
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:34,582
baridi sana

98
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,942
na kuhesabu miaka baadaye.

99
00:06:38,742 --> 00:06:40,422
Usingewahi kufikiria hivyo

100
00:06:40,422 --> 00:06:43,382
mvulana mdogo mtamu angegeuka kuwa hii

101
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:44,182
mnyama.

102
00:06:54,573 --> 00:06:56,853
Tulikua, mimi na Brian, hatukufanya hivyo

103
00:06:56,853 --> 00:06:59,693
daima kupata pamoja. Kawaida, ndugu

104
00:06:59,693 --> 00:07:02,453
mashindano. Wakati mwingine tulienda vizuri.

105
00:07:02,453 --> 00:07:04,493
Kisha kulikuwa na nyakati tungepigana. Yeye

106
00:07:07,773 --> 00:07:10,613
alikuwa na jambo hili kwa kuficha. Alipenda

107
00:07:10,613 --> 00:07:13,453
jeans yake ya kamouflage, kamouflage yake

108
00:07:13,453 --> 00:07:14,253
koti.

109
00:07:17,213 --> 00:07:19,054
Kwa hiyo ningemdhihaki akivaa.

110
00:07:19,654 --> 00:07:21,454
Na hakuipenda, kwa hivyo angepiga ngumi

111
00:07:21,454 --> 00:07:21,694
mimi.

112
00:07:26,014 --> 00:07:27,934
Nami niliendelea kumtania zaidi, na yeye

113
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:29,294
angenipiga ngumi zaidi.

114
00:07:33,294 --> 00:07:35,934
Lakini basi haachi kunipiga.

115
00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:39,214
Hakunisikiliza akisema tu,

116
00:07:39,214 --> 00:07:42,174
hey, acha, hiyo inaumiza. pekee

117
00:07:42,174 --> 00:07:45,134
njia ningeweza kumzuia itakuwa ni kupiga teke

118
00:07:45,134 --> 00:07:45,374
yeye.

119
00:07:48,814 --> 00:07:50,414
Maana sasa anaumwa.

120
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:55,455
Mtu anasema, hey, acha. Hiyo inaumiza.

121
00:07:56,415 --> 00:07:58,415
Kwa kawaida ungeacha isipokuwa tu

122
00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:00,415
usijali.

123
00:08:03,295 --> 00:08:05,655
Hakujali kama angepiga yake

124
00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:06,335
dada.

125
00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:19,375
Wakati yeye hit, kama, 13 kwa

126
00:08:19,535 --> 00:08:21,935
Miaka 16, alianza kufanya

127
00:08:22,415 --> 00:08:24,016
kama, vitu vilivyokuwa

128
00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:27,136
mwasi. Walianza, kama, kama

129
00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:30,016
mambo madogo madogo. Na kisha ikawa,

130
00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:32,656
kama, kila hatua ilikuwa, kama, hatua moja mbaya zaidi

131
00:08:32,656 --> 00:08:33,776
kuliko ya mwisho.

132
00:08:36,576 --> 00:08:39,296
Nilipokuwa na umri wa miaka 17, nilipata yangu ya kwanza

133
00:08:39,296 --> 00:08:41,536
kazi, na tulikuwa tunalipwa kwa pesa taslimu.

134
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,576
Siku ya Ijumaa, ningeiweka kwa mama yangu

135
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:47,256
mfanyakazi wa kuweka kwenye akaunti yangu wakati yeye

136
00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:49,936
alikwenda kazini Jumatatu. Naam, kulikuwa na

137
00:08:49,936 --> 00:08:52,216
mara mama yangu angeenda kufanya amana yangu

138
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:55,136
kwa ajili yangu, na pesa zilikosekana.

139
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,857
Ilikuwa dhahiri ni Brian kwa sababu Brian

140
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:03,457
hakuwa na kazi, na Brian

141
00:09:03,617 --> 00:09:04,497
kupata vitu.

142
00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:08,977
Halo, ulichukua pesa yoyote kutoka kwa Mama

143
00:09:08,977 --> 00:09:09,377
droo?

144
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:12,097
Hapana.

145
00:09:17,137 --> 00:09:19,537
Ni kama, subiri sekunde. nilikuwa

146
00:09:19,537 --> 00:09:22,017
kukosa $20 kati yangu

147
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:24,897
amana wiki hii. Gazeti hilo

148
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:25,977
usajili ni $20.

149
00:09:27,857 --> 00:09:30,738
Sawa, hivyo ndivyo pesa zinaenda.

150
00:09:33,058 --> 00:09:35,458
Nilifikiri kwamba alikuwa chini sana

151
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,618
kuiba kutoka kwa familia yake mwenyewe. Ni kama

152
00:09:37,698 --> 00:09:40,498
familia kwa kawaida husaidia kila mmoja

153
00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:43,138
nje. Ni kama hiyo haikuwa muhimu kwake.

154
00:09:45,178 --> 00:09:47,338
Una uhakika? Nili-- nilifikiri bado nilikuwa nayo

155
00:09:47,338 --> 00:09:48,818
hiyo mapema leo.

156
00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:56,978
Sijaona pesa zako.

157
00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:02,099
Lakini niliiacha iteleze.

158
00:10:02,699 --> 00:10:03,059
Chochote

159
00:10:07,059 --> 00:10:09,779
mwingine?Hapana. $20 hapa, $20 kulikuwa

160
00:10:10,179 --> 00:10:13,059
sio thamani ya kupigana.

161
00:10:15,619 --> 00:10:17,419
Ilikuwa ni kama, Hebu tuchague na

162
00:10:17,419 --> 00:10:19,699
chagua vita vyetu. Ni awamu tu

163
00:10:19,699 --> 00:10:20,739
anapitia.

164
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:37,300
Ningesema alipaswa kuwa karibu 15 au

165
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,460
hivyo wakati alianza obsession na

166
00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:40,500
sinema za vita.

167
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,460
Hakukuwa na wakati ambapo ilikuwa kweli,

168
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,780
kama, alinigusa kama sio kawaida,

169
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,180
lakini alikuwa na mpango.

170
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:58,420
Inanitisha kujua kuwa kulikuwa na hii

171
00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:01,300
chuki nyingi ndani yake, na mimi kwa kweli

172
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,260
hakuona hili ndani yake.

173
00:11:17,461 --> 00:11:19,621
Uovu, upo katika ulimwengu huu.

174
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,941
Sio kama uovu unaouona na

175
00:11:24,661 --> 00:11:26,581
Sinema za kutisha,

176
00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:30,421
hapa unayo yako

177
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,661
kawaida ya Waamerika wote,

178
00:11:33,781 --> 00:11:35,461
mvulana mwenye nywele za blonde, mwenye macho ya bluu,

179
00:11:36,741 --> 00:11:37,381
na

180
00:11:39,462 --> 00:11:42,022
kuna ubaya. Hakuna mtu...

181
00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:45,782
Hakuna anayejua hilo.

182
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,862
Inanifanya nijiulize ni nini kilienda

183
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:52,262
vibaya.

184
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,772
Alijishughulisha na, kama, vita

185
00:12:08,772 --> 00:12:10,732
sinema na mambo ambayo yalikuwa yanatoka.

186
00:12:10,732 --> 00:12:13,653
Unatazama hii

187
00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:14,133
tena?

188
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,813
Baba na kaka yangu wangekaa hapo na

189
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:23,333
wangetazama vipindi tofauti kwenye TV,

190
00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:26,453
lakini Brian alishangazwa nayo.

191
00:12:28,663 --> 00:12:30,663
Angeweza kumwangalia tena na tena.

192
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:42,773
Siku zote alikuwa akiongea jinsi anavyotaka

193
00:12:42,773 --> 00:12:45,094
kujiunga na Wanamaji alipozeeka

194
00:12:45,094 --> 00:12:47,694
kutosha. Hiki ndicho ninachotaka kufanya ndani

195
00:12:47,694 --> 00:12:50,414
maisha. Nilihisi

196
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:52,174
jeshi lingekuwa chaguo zuri kwake

197
00:12:52,174 --> 00:12:54,574
kwa sababu huko angejifunza zaidi

198
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,814
nidhamu. Ni kama, Hey, yeye

199
00:12:56,814 --> 00:12:59,454
nia ya kitu. Hii ni nzuri

200
00:12:59,454 --> 00:12:59,854
jambo.

201
00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:11,944
Katika chumba chake, alikuwa na kila aina tofauti

202
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:14,664
ya magazeti ya kijeshi. Alikuwa na mengine

203
00:13:15,144 --> 00:13:16,745
mabango ya aina ya kijeshi.

204
00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:22,345
Alikuwa akikusanya mabomu ya kutupa kwa mkono

205
00:13:22,345 --> 00:13:24,825
na risasi, magazeti ya bunduki.

206
00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:27,785
Alikuwa na camouflage ambayo angevaa.

207
00:13:29,305 --> 00:13:31,065
Karibu kila kitu alichokuwa nacho kilikuwa pia

208
00:13:31,065 --> 00:13:33,225
kuficha au kufanya

209
00:13:33,865 --> 00:13:35,505
kwa namna fulani, umbo, au umbo na

210
00:13:35,505 --> 00:13:38,265
kijeshi. Lakini kwa kweli hatukuona

211
00:13:38,265 --> 00:13:40,905
chochote kibaya na yeye kuagiza

212
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:43,385
mambo ambayo yanahusiana na jeshi.

213
00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:46,345
Baada ya yote, ndivyo anataka kufanya.

214
00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:59,826
Baba yangu angeenda kuwinda na Mjomba wangu

215
00:13:59,826 --> 00:14:02,586
Barry, hivyo kuwa na bunduki ndani ya nyumba

216
00:14:03,546 --> 00:14:05,466
lingekuwa jambo la asili, kuwa uwindaji

217
00:14:05,466 --> 00:14:05,946
familia.

218
00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:11,106
Hawakuhisi kwamba walipaswa kuweka

219
00:14:11,106 --> 00:14:13,386
yao mahali fulani na kuwafungia kwa sababu

220
00:14:13,546 --> 00:14:16,026
hakukuwa na hofu kwamba chochote kingeweza

221
00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:16,506
kutokea.

222
00:14:24,587 --> 00:14:26,507
Mtu fulani ainue, weka... Hakikisha

223
00:14:26,507 --> 00:14:27,907
una hisa ya bunduki dhidi yako

224
00:14:27,907 --> 00:14:30,107
bega. Baba yangu alimfundisha kwenye

225
00:14:30,107 --> 00:14:32,667
ukumbi wa nyuma jinsi ya kutumia bunduki. Line hiyo

226
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:35,467
upande hapo juu. Bunduki hiyo

227
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:37,627
hisa ni imara dhidi ya bega, sawa?

228
00:14:38,907 --> 00:14:41,387
Kanuni ilikuwa, usiwaguse

229
00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:44,987
isipokuwa nipo nyumbani. Na kisha, na tu

230
00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:47,947
basi, nakuruhusu kufanya hivyo,

231
00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:49,947
na inafanywa katika mazingira salama.

232
00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:52,587
Kumbuka, usiweke kidole chako kwenye

233
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,028
chochea hadi uwe tayari kwa mauaji

234
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:54,308
risasi.

235
00:15:06,508 --> 00:15:08,948
Baba yangu alikuwa akimfundisha jinsi ya kutumia

236
00:15:08,948 --> 00:15:11,228
bunduki na vitu moja kwa moja kwenye ukumbi

237
00:15:11,228 --> 00:15:13,308
hapa. Na walikuwa na

238
00:15:14,108 --> 00:15:16,748
malengo chini ambapo hizo sheds.

239
00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:19,548
Kamwe bila kufikiria kuwa yeye

240
00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:20,988
akimfundisha mtoto wake jinsi ya kutumia bunduki

241
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,828
vizuri, na mtoto wake atafanya nini

242
00:15:22,828 --> 00:15:25,068
alifanya katika miaka michache ijayo.

243
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:28,509
Sidhani kama angewahi kufundisha

244
00:15:28,509 --> 00:15:31,309
jinsi ya kuitumia ipasavyo kama angekuwa nayo

245
00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:33,069
Nilidhani Brian angefanya kitu kama hicho

246
00:15:33,069 --> 00:15:33,469
hiyo.

247
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:45,069
Alipitia awamu hii alipokuwa

248
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,949
nia ya, kama, kutupa Kichina

249
00:15:47,949 --> 00:15:50,629
nyota, nunchucks na mambo kama hayo

250
00:15:50,629 --> 00:15:53,309
hiyo. Alikuwa akifikiri ni furaha tu

251
00:15:53,309 --> 00:15:54,749
kumtupa katika turuma mbao katika

252
00:15:54,749 --> 00:15:57,709
sebuleni. Na ilifikia hatua

253
00:15:57,709 --> 00:16:00,350
ambapo wazazi wangu walikuwa kama, Wewe ni nini

254
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:00,910
kufanya?

255
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:04,110
Brian.

256
00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:09,710
Lakini alikuwa tu

257
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,230
kutojali kabisa hilo. Huwezi

258
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:16,110
endelea kufanya hivyo. Sasa mpe

259
00:16:16,110 --> 00:16:16,670
kwangu.

260
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:24,830
Unamchukua kutoka kwake, anapata

261
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,150
mwingine kutoka kwa mtu. namwambia,

262
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:29,070
Hapana, anafanya anachotaka. Hatufanyi hivyo

263
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:31,911
kuelewa kwanini hasikii

264
00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:32,351
sisi.

265
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:37,551
Ilikuwa mazingira ya

266
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,391
wasiwasi.

267
00:16:44,031 --> 00:16:45,951
Nadhani walikuwa wanaangalia kubwa

268
00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:48,711
picha ya kama waliendelea naye kwa muda mrefu tu

269
00:16:48,711 --> 00:16:50,671
kutosha kwake kuhitimu shule ya upili,

270
00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:54,111
basi ni kama angeweza kuingia

271
00:16:54,111 --> 00:16:56,711
kijeshi. Mara wakampata

272
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:59,551
hapo angekuwa anajifunza heshima. The

273
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:01,631
mambo ambayo alikuwa akiwafanyia wazazi wangu,

274
00:17:02,111 --> 00:17:03,632
jeshi halingevumilia.

275
00:17:17,632 --> 00:17:20,272
Katika 19, hutarajii

276
00:17:21,552 --> 00:17:23,872
kuamka na

277
00:17:24,512 --> 00:17:26,512
dunia yako imeharibiwa.

278
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,273
Kukua, mara tu tulipoanza kuchumbiana, sisi

279
00:17:42,273 --> 00:17:44,593
walikuwa na sheria zetu

280
00:17:44,593 --> 00:17:47,153
elimu ilikuwa muhimu kuliko kuona

281
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,553
mpenzi au mpenzi wetu. Kama, sisi

282
00:17:49,553 --> 00:17:51,713
angeweza kumuona siku moja kwa wiki. Kawaida ni

283
00:17:51,713 --> 00:17:53,793
ilikuwa, kama, wikendi, tangu huko

284
00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:55,633
ilikuwa kazi ya nyumbani na vitu wakati wa wiki.

285
00:17:56,273 --> 00:17:58,433
Inauma. mbaya zaidi.

286
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:02,113
Sikuwa na maswala nayo. Ilikuwa kama,

287
00:18:02,113 --> 00:18:04,273
sawa, inaeleweka.

288
00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:07,953
Elimu huja kwanza. Brian

289
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,274
hakukubaliana na hilo. Ilikuwa yake sana

290
00:18:10,274 --> 00:18:12,994
mpenzi wa kwanza. Wakati wowote wa kuamka yeye

291
00:18:12,994 --> 00:18:14,874
alikuwa juu, alitaka kutumia muda

292
00:18:14,874 --> 00:18:17,794
pamoja naye, na ... Hakupenda kuwa

293
00:18:17,794 --> 00:18:19,714
aliwaambia kile alichoweza na asingeweza kufanya.

294
00:18:24,674 --> 00:18:26,874
Mpenzi, unaweza kutusamehe? Nahitaji

295
00:18:26,914 --> 00:18:27,634
zungumza na Brian.

296
00:18:33,714 --> 00:18:35,234
Kwa nini daima unapaswa kuharibu kila kitu?

297
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:36,914
Nadhani unapaswa kutumia a

298
00:18:36,914 --> 00:18:39,794
muda kidogo pamoja. Angeanza

299
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:42,515
kuinua sauti yake. Naweza kujumuika na

300
00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:44,675
yeyote ninayetaka kukaa naye. Ni yangu

301
00:18:44,675 --> 00:18:47,035
uamuzi wa kufanya, sio wako. Huwezi

302
00:18:47,035 --> 00:18:49,915
niambie kuwa siwezi kumuona mpenzi wangu.

303
00:18:50,075 --> 00:18:52,755
Mimi ni kijana. Naweza kufanya kile mimi

304
00:18:52,755 --> 00:18:55,035
kutaka. Ninaendelea kuelezea mambo haya

305
00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:57,795
wewe. nakuchukia. Natamani ungekuwa

306
00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:59,955
wafu. Wewe ni mjinga kiasi gani?

307
00:19:01,075 --> 00:19:03,075
Naye angeondoka tu na kwenda zake

308
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,395
chumba. Kwa nini usife tu?

309
00:19:10,675 --> 00:19:13,075
Kuangalia kwa macho yangu ya umri wa miaka 19,

310
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:16,116
ilionekana tu kama kawaida

311
00:19:16,996 --> 00:19:19,516
mambo ya vijana, kijana wa kawaida

312
00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,236
hasira, uasi.

313
00:19:22,716 --> 00:19:25,316
Kuangalia nyuma sasa, naona

314
00:19:25,316 --> 00:19:27,876
mambo na aliyoyafanya

315
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,836
kama -- kama kushuka

316
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,476
ond.

317
00:19:36,996 --> 00:19:38,916
Ikiwa alitaka njia yake, alikuwa akienda tu

318
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:41,876
kuendelea nayo. Haijalishi

319
00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:44,476
mara ngapi ulisema hapana. Ingekuwa a

320
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:45,476
vita isiyo na mwisho.

321
00:19:48,597 --> 00:19:51,037
Walikuwa wakijaribu tu na kujaribu, wakihisi

322
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:54,037
wanyonge, kwa sababu kila kitu wao

323
00:19:54,037 --> 00:19:56,957
kujaribu haikufaulu. Atakua nje

324
00:19:56,957 --> 00:19:58,837
yake. Yeye hana budi. Nini

325
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:04,117
kama hana?Yake

326
00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:06,837
obsessions walikuwa tu - Jeshi na yake

327
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,317
mpenzi, na ilikuwa kama familia yake

328
00:20:09,957 --> 00:20:11,957
hiyo haikuwa na maana yoyote tena.

329
00:20:12,757 --> 00:20:14,197
Unafika mahali inakuwa kama, sawa,

330
00:20:14,197 --> 00:20:14,917
unafanya nini?

331
00:20:23,338 --> 00:20:25,818
Januari 22 ya '89,

332
00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:29,418
siku hiyo mpenzi wake alikuja

333
00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:30,538
nyumba pamoja naye

334
00:20:31,818 --> 00:20:34,698
na kuletwa vodka nyumbani. Hiyo ni

335
00:20:37,898 --> 00:20:40,518
kichaa. Naam, niruhusu tu

336
00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:42,358
chug chupa ya vodka

337
00:20:43,478 --> 00:20:46,278
na uone kitakachotokea kwangu.

338
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,119
Kisha akasema alijisikia mcheshi na akapita

339
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:00,399
nje. Halo, hujambo,

340
00:21:05,079 --> 00:21:06,759
hey Amka.

341
00:21:12,039 --> 00:21:14,439
Mpenzi wake alimpigia simu baba yangu kazini.

342
00:21:14,679 --> 00:21:17,399
Baba yangu alimpeleka Brian hospitali.

343
00:21:18,199 --> 00:21:20,039
Aliishia kusukuma tumbo

344
00:21:20,039 --> 00:21:22,479
pombe, na

345
00:21:23,159 --> 00:21:24,800
kama baba yangu hakuja nyumbani, kuna a

346
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,560
uwezekano kwamba Brian angeweza kufa.

347
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,480
Natamani ningerudi nyuma na kujua

348
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,880
ninachojua sasa

349
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,400
kumzuia baba yangu kuokoa maisha yake

350
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,080
siku hiyo.

351
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,200
Ikiwa Brian angekufa, ndio, tungekufa

352
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,360
wote wamekasirika, lakini

353
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,880
hastahili

354
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,440
kuishi na kile alichokifanya.

355
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:01,801
Najua hilo si jambo zuri

356
00:22:01,801 --> 00:22:04,521
sema. Nimeambiwa hivyo

357
00:22:05,161 --> 00:22:07,881
Nimsamehe. Yangu

358
00:22:07,881 --> 00:22:10,601
watu. siwezi kusamehe.

359
00:22:22,361 --> 00:22:25,161
Ilikuwa Machi 20 ya '89 na yangu

360
00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:27,801
maadhimisho ya miaka 45 ya harusi ya babu.

361
00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:29,082
Kila mtu anaenda.

362
00:22:31,562 --> 00:22:33,162
Njoo, Brian. Badilika. Tunaenda.

363
00:22:35,402 --> 00:22:37,442
siendi. Mababu zako watafanya

364
00:22:37,442 --> 00:22:39,642
nataka kukuona. Nikasema siendi.

365
00:22:42,442 --> 00:22:44,482
Alitaka kumuona mpenzi wake. Haikufanya hivyo

366
00:22:44,482 --> 00:22:46,842
jambo ambalo lilikuwa la bibi yake

367
00:22:46,842 --> 00:22:48,362
maadhimisho ya miaka, kwamba ...

368
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:52,202
Kila mtu atakuwepo. Brian,

369
00:22:53,242 --> 00:22:54,682
ni kumbukumbu ya harusi yao.

370
00:22:56,802 --> 00:22:57,322
sijali.

371
00:22:59,562 --> 00:23:01,403
Familia kwake haikuwa na maana yoyote

372
00:23:01,403 --> 00:23:03,803
tena. Ni karibu kama ni shida

373
00:23:04,523 --> 00:23:07,483
kwake kwamba ana familia ambayo anaweza kufanya

374
00:23:07,483 --> 00:23:08,163
mambo na.

375
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,003
Kila kitu kilikuwa kamili.

376
00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:29,203
Baba yangu alinichukua chuoni karibu 9

377
00:23:29,203 --> 00:23:31,163
saa moja. Nadhani darasa langu lilikuwa limekwisha.

378
00:23:33,484 --> 00:23:36,324
Mama yangu alikuwa na furaha wote. Kabla hatujaenda

379
00:23:36,324 --> 00:23:37,804
kitandani, tungekumbatiana na kumbusu kila mmoja

380
00:23:37,804 --> 00:23:38,164
usiku mwema.

381
00:23:41,084 --> 00:23:43,444
Nilioga na kumpigia simu mpenzi wangu.

382
00:23:44,444 --> 00:23:46,684
aliongea naye kwa muda na kwenda kulala.

383
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:04,364
Nilipoamka hospitalini, ndivyo

384
00:24:04,364 --> 00:24:07,085
kama, Subiri, hiki si chumba changu cha kulala.

385
00:24:07,285 --> 00:24:08,045
niko wapi?

386
00:24:11,165 --> 00:24:13,165
Nilikuwa na maumivu makali sana ya kichwa.

387
00:24:13,805 --> 00:24:16,205
Na kulikuwa na mlio masikioni mwangu.

388
00:24:17,085 --> 00:24:19,805
Niligusa kichwa changu na kugundua kuna

389
00:24:19,805 --> 00:24:21,645
nikifunga bandeji pale, na nimeunganishwa

390
00:24:21,645 --> 00:24:24,285
mashine, na nina a

391
00:24:24,605 --> 00:24:26,445
shimo kwenye upande wangu.

392
00:24:28,045 --> 00:24:30,045
Na nina mishono pande zote.

393
00:24:31,005 --> 00:24:33,965
Na mimi ni kama, sawa, nini

394
00:24:33,965 --> 00:24:34,565
ilitokea?

395
00:24:37,245 --> 00:24:39,246
Kulikuwa na madaktari, na wote wangeweza

396
00:24:39,246 --> 00:24:41,246
niambie mwanzoni kulikuwa na

397
00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:43,646
ajali. Ni aina gani

398
00:24:43,646 --> 00:24:45,806
ajali?Haingeweza kuwa gari

399
00:24:45,806 --> 00:24:47,566
ajali kwa sababu nilienda kulala.

400
00:24:51,526 --> 00:24:53,726
Mama yuko wapi?Baba yuko wapi?Yuko wapi

401
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:54,606
Jason?

402
00:24:56,526 --> 00:24:59,326
Si mara moja niliuliza kuhusu Brian. Ni

403
00:24:59,326 --> 00:25:02,206
kama akili yangu ilijua hivyo

404
00:25:02,206 --> 00:25:04,606
kitu, ingawa sikufanya

405
00:25:04,606 --> 00:25:06,606
kumbuka kilichotokea.

406
00:25:10,046 --> 00:25:11,727
Lakini nini?

407
00:25:24,927 --> 00:25:26,607
Inatisha kuona hii,

408
00:25:27,647 --> 00:25:30,607
nikijua kuwa mimi ndiye

409
00:25:30,607 --> 00:25:33,407
karibu kupoteza yangu

410
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:33,847
maisha. Ni a

411
00:25:35,887 --> 00:25:37,087
mawazo ya kutisha.

412
00:25:50,448 --> 00:25:52,608
Ni hisia ya kutisha kuamka ndani

413
00:25:52,608 --> 00:25:54,528
hospitali na kutambua hilo

414
00:25:55,488 --> 00:25:57,968
umejeruhiwa, na huna

415
00:25:57,968 --> 00:25:59,968
fahamu jinsi ulivyojeruhiwa.

416
00:26:07,488 --> 00:26:09,968
Kila nilipoamka, mawazo yale yale

417
00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:11,928
ingekuja akilini mwangu. Oh, mimi ni mimi tu

418
00:26:11,928 --> 00:26:14,448
kuota. Hii haiwezi kuwa kweli. Mambo haya

419
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:15,969
haifanyiki katika maisha halisi.

420
00:26:18,769 --> 00:26:21,729
Niko hospitalini, nimeunganishwa

421
00:26:21,729 --> 00:26:24,449
kwa tani za mashine.

422
00:26:25,009 --> 00:26:27,809
Na kila wakati ningeamka

423
00:26:27,809 --> 00:26:30,689
na nikauliza juu ya mama yangu, baba yangu,

424
00:26:31,009 --> 00:26:33,569
kaka yangu mdogo, Jason, nini kinaendelea?

425
00:26:34,449 --> 00:26:37,169
Ikiwa niko hospitalini, wako wapi?

426
00:26:37,169 --> 00:26:39,969
Mbona hawako chumbani nami?

427
00:26:40,249 --> 00:26:41,409
Mama na baba yangu wako wapi?

428
00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:45,409
Hakuna mtu angeweza kunieleza nini

429
00:26:45,409 --> 00:26:47,889
ilitokea kwa sababu wao wenyewe hawakufanya hivyo

430
00:26:47,889 --> 00:26:50,050
kujua. Kwa nini mtu yeyote asiniambie ni nini

431
00:26:50,130 --> 00:26:50,290
kwenda

432
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,640
juu ya?Nilifanya miaka 32 katika polisi

433
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,440
idara, na nimeona mengi kweli

434
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,080
mambo mabaya, lakini sitawahi

435
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,200
kusahau asubuhi hiyo.

436
00:27:14,890 --> 00:27:17,170
Na ninaweza kusema hivi kwako. sidhani

437
00:27:17,170 --> 00:27:19,970
unaweza kujiandaa kwenda

438
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:21,331
kupitia mlango huo kwa kile ulichokuwa ukienda

439
00:27:21,331 --> 00:27:24,051
kupata. Ni

440
00:27:24,051 --> 00:27:26,851
lilikuwa eneo la uhalifu wa kutisha.

441
00:27:27,291 --> 00:27:29,371
Namaanisha, kulikuwa na damu kote huko

442
00:27:29,371 --> 00:27:29,731
mahali.

443
00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:34,971
Mara tu tulipofungua mlango, tuliona

444
00:27:34,971 --> 00:27:37,891
damu na nywele na

445
00:27:37,891 --> 00:27:40,531
mfupa. iliyoingizwa kwenye ukuta.

446
00:27:42,451 --> 00:27:44,211
Kitu cha kutisha kimetokea hapa.

447
00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:48,851
Kwa kweli hatukujua kama kuna

448
00:27:48,851 --> 00:27:50,931
mpiga risasi hai katika nyumba hiyo, na tulikuwa nayo

449
00:27:50,931 --> 00:27:52,051
kudhani kuwa kuna.

450
00:27:55,012 --> 00:27:57,492
Tunapanda ngazi na kutazama

451
00:27:57,492 --> 00:27:59,492
sawa, ambayo ilikuwa ya mama na baba

452
00:27:59,492 --> 00:28:02,372
chumbani, na bado yuko kitandani.

453
00:28:04,612 --> 00:28:06,212
Amepigwa risasi usoni.

454
00:28:07,652 --> 00:28:10,452
Na kupigwa risasi kifuani. Wakati wewe

455
00:28:10,452 --> 00:28:13,052
toka nje ya chumba hicho, unatazama moja kwa moja

456
00:28:13,052 --> 00:28:15,492
kwenye ukumbi na kwenye

457
00:28:15,492 --> 00:28:18,292
sakafu ilikuwa ya Brian

458
00:28:18,292 --> 00:28:20,932
mama. Ni wazi amefariki.

459
00:28:22,852 --> 00:28:24,972
Tulimkuta Jason karibu na mama yake

460
00:28:25,812 --> 00:28:28,453
na kichwa chake kilikuwa karibu

461
00:28:28,453 --> 00:28:29,013
kupondwa.

462
00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:34,213
Aliamua kutumia shotgun kama

463
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:37,093
klabu. Na alifanya hivyo. Aliitumia

464
00:28:37,093 --> 00:28:37,973
juu ya kichwa cha kaka yake.

465
00:28:44,293 --> 00:28:46,453
Tunatembea kidogo ndani ya nyumba

466
00:28:47,173 --> 00:28:49,813
na tunampata Sherry

467
00:28:51,493 --> 00:28:54,293
kitandani mwake, akiwa ametapakaa damu. Yeye

468
00:28:56,533 --> 00:28:59,094
alikuwa amepigwa risasi mara mbili. Moja ya risasi

469
00:28:59,094 --> 00:29:01,334
kweli alichukua sehemu ya fuvu lake.

470
00:29:02,294 --> 00:29:04,374
Alipigwa risasi tena upande wa kushoto ndani

471
00:29:04,374 --> 00:29:05,014
tumbo.

472
00:29:07,254 --> 00:29:09,094
Hatukuwa na uhakika kwamba angeishi.

473
00:29:10,454 --> 00:29:12,774
Na tukamtoa pale haraka sana

474
00:29:12,774 --> 00:29:15,734
inaweza. Ana bahati sana

475
00:29:15,734 --> 00:29:16,774
kuwa hai leo.

476
00:29:25,114 --> 00:29:26,794
Brian ndiye pekee - pekee

477
00:29:26,794 --> 00:29:29,514
aliyenusurika ambaye tungeweza kuzungumza naye. Kwa hiyo sisi

478
00:29:29,514 --> 00:29:32,395
alizungumza naye mara moja. Anasema

479
00:29:32,875 --> 00:29:34,595
kwamba mtu alilazimisha kuingia ndani

480
00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:35,035
nyumba.

481
00:29:39,575 --> 00:29:41,255
Huyu ni Brian Britton siku alipokuwa

482
00:29:41,255 --> 00:29:42,775
kukamatwa, siku aliyoua

483
00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:45,095
karibu kila mwanachama wa familia yake.

484
00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:47,895
Alikuwa amekaa kwenye kiti kilicho mkabala wangu

485
00:29:47,895 --> 00:29:50,455
dawati. Maafisa hao walikuwa wakimhoji.

486
00:29:51,975 --> 00:29:53,575
Haonyeshi majuto yoyote.

487
00:29:54,935 --> 00:29:56,095
Nilisimama hapa na kumsikiliza

488
00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:58,295
kama dakika mbili, nikasema, Brian,

489
00:29:58,615 --> 00:30:00,695
Sherry yuko hai. Tulizungumza naye.

490
00:30:01,415 --> 00:30:02,615
Umeweka wapi bunduki?

491
00:30:04,496 --> 00:30:05,976
Mara akasema, Wamo ndani

492
00:30:05,976 --> 00:30:08,696
darini. Na hapo ndipo walipopatikana.

493
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:14,576
Anaendelea kujaribu na kuhalalisha alichokuwa nacho

494
00:30:14,576 --> 00:30:16,416
kufanyika, kutuambia kuhusu matatizo na

495
00:30:16,416 --> 00:30:18,376
mama yake na baba yake. Wewe ni hivyo

496
00:30:19,136 --> 00:30:19,496
mjinga!

497
00:30:22,616 --> 00:30:24,136
Brian! Na mama yake alikuwa daima juu yake

498
00:30:24,136 --> 00:30:25,416
kesi na hakumruhusu kuona yake

499
00:30:25,416 --> 00:30:26,896
mpenzi na hakumruhusu kukaa nje

500
00:30:26,896 --> 00:30:29,016
usiku na kusisitiza kwamba aende

501
00:30:29,016 --> 00:30:31,496
shule. Kwa hiyo alikuwa anajaribu kuhalalisha yake

502
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:34,136
vitendo, lakini hakuna njia ambayo unaweza

503
00:30:34,136 --> 00:30:35,416
kuhalalisha alichofanya.

504
00:30:48,377 --> 00:30:50,617
Niliendelea kufikiria, oh, niko kwenye ndoto mbaya,

505
00:30:50,617 --> 00:30:53,177
ndoto mbaya sana. Hii si kweli.

506
00:30:54,217 --> 00:30:57,017
Sina chochote kilichobaki. Nilipoteza yangu

507
00:30:57,017 --> 00:30:59,657
dunia. Sasa nini kinatokea kwangu?

508
00:31:01,577 --> 00:31:03,977
Mimi hapa, 19.

509
00:31:04,777 --> 00:31:07,737
Hakuna mahali pa kwenda. Nyumbani kwangu

510
00:31:07,737 --> 00:31:10,618
sio yangu tena

511
00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:13,458
nyumbani. Mama na

512
00:31:13,458 --> 00:31:15,258
baba ameenda, Jason ameenda.

513
00:31:16,778 --> 00:31:18,218
Nilijihisi mpweke sana.

514
00:31:20,458 --> 00:31:22,938
Nyakati fulani nilitamani kufa, na nikafa

515
00:31:22,938 --> 00:31:25,578
daima kama, kwa nini mimi ndiye ambaye

516
00:31:25,578 --> 00:31:28,538
alinusurika?Kwanini mimi?Mbona nisingeweza

517
00:31:28,538 --> 00:31:30,618
mama yangu aliokoka?Kwa nini baba yangu hakuweza kuishi

518
00:31:30,618 --> 00:31:33,098
alinusurika?Kwa nini Jason hakuishi?

519
00:31:33,818 --> 00:31:35,498
Kwa nini nilikuwa na bahati?

520
00:31:41,339 --> 00:31:43,899
Kuna mambo mengi ambayo yana

521
00:31:43,899 --> 00:31:46,299
kilichotokea katika maisha yangu tangu wakati huo.

522
00:31:47,499 --> 00:31:49,739
Walinikosa kuhitimu chuo.

523
00:31:50,539 --> 00:31:53,339
Nilipooa baba wa mtoto wangu,

524
00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:55,059
Sikuwa na baba yangu wa kunitoa.

525
00:31:55,059 --> 00:31:57,899
Hawakupata furaha

526
00:31:58,099 --> 00:32:00,619
ya binti yao kupata

527
00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:02,779
ndoa. kuwa na

528
00:32:02,779 --> 00:32:03,659
wajukuu.

529
00:32:06,299 --> 00:32:08,339
Sio sawa kwenda chini

530
00:32:08,339 --> 00:32:10,939
makaburi na kuzungumza

531
00:32:10,939 --> 00:32:13,820
kwenye jiwe la msingi, akiwaambia

532
00:32:13,820 --> 00:32:14,940
kwamba unawapenda.

533
00:32:16,940 --> 00:32:19,020
Ningetoa kiasi chochote, chochote mtu yeyote

534
00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:21,100
alitaka, hata kusikia sauti zao,

535
00:32:21,660 --> 00:32:24,060
kumsikia tu baba yangu

536
00:32:24,060 --> 00:32:26,380
cheka mara ya mwisho, kusikia

537
00:32:26,380 --> 00:32:29,260
Jason anauliza kuki.

538
00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:31,620
Wakati mwingine natamani bado ningekuwa nayo

539
00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:33,820
mashine ya kujibu. Mama yangu alikuwa amefanya

540
00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:35,820
sauti juu yake, ili tu kusikia sauti yake.

541
00:32:50,721 --> 00:32:53,441
Bado sielewi kabisa kwanini.

542
00:32:54,161 --> 00:32:56,721
Hiyo daima imekuwa kubwa, kubwa

543
00:32:56,721 --> 00:32:58,921
swali, na

544
00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:00,881
haijawahi kujibiwa.

545
00:33:02,461 --> 00:33:05,421
Sikumbuki chochote tangu wakati huo

546
00:33:05,421 --> 00:33:07,901
alikwenda kulala mnamo Machi 21

547
00:33:08,301 --> 00:33:10,781
mpaka nilipoamka hospitalini.

548
00:33:12,781 --> 00:33:15,581
Jambo zima ni kubwa tu

549
00:33:15,581 --> 00:33:18,302
tupu. Kuna mambo mengi ambayo mimi

550
00:33:18,302 --> 00:33:21,262
labda niliona asubuhi hiyo. Ni mahali fulani

551
00:33:21,262 --> 00:33:23,182
imefungwa humu ndani mahali fulani.

552
00:33:24,302 --> 00:33:25,502
Wapi, sijui.

553
00:33:33,742 --> 00:33:35,502
Kweli, hapa tunaanza na video.

554
00:33:35,502 --> 00:33:38,302
Ni mbele ya nyumba yako, kama

555
00:33:38,302 --> 00:33:39,822
kama ilivyoonekana siku hiyo.

556
00:33:45,672 --> 00:33:47,352
Kwa kweli sidhani kama ningeweza kuishughulikia,

557
00:33:47,352 --> 00:33:49,112
lakini nataka kila mtu

558
00:33:50,552 --> 00:33:53,113
katika dunia kujua nini monster

559
00:33:53,273 --> 00:33:54,393
yeye ni.

560
00:33:59,113 --> 00:34:01,593
Hiyo ni ya kutisha sana.

561
00:34:02,233 --> 00:34:04,073
Hiyo inatisha sana.

562
00:34:35,104 --> 00:34:37,984
Habari. Habari yako?Sawa. Habari yako?Sawa.

563
00:34:44,144 --> 00:34:46,384
Nimefurahi kukuona. Mimi ni kweli. mimi ni

564
00:34:46,424 --> 00:34:47,104
nitaingia ndani. Sawa. Naam,

565
00:34:57,985 --> 00:34:59,665
hapa tunaanza na video.

566
00:35:00,945 --> 00:35:03,105
Mbele ya nyumba yako, kama ilivyo

567
00:35:03,105 --> 00:35:05,345
inaonekana siku hiyo, na Asby akaingia yako

568
00:35:05,345 --> 00:35:08,025
nyumbani, juu ya ngazi na kulia kwa

569
00:35:08,025 --> 00:35:08,745
chumba cha baba yako. Wewe

570
00:35:12,065 --> 00:35:13,745
risasi baba yako kwanza. Umefikiria yako

571
00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:15,065
baba pengine alikuwa mmoja tu katika

572
00:35:15,065 --> 00:35:16,785
nyumba ambayo inaweza kumzuia.

573
00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:33,266
Baba yako alikuwa bado kitandani. Alikuwa

574
00:35:33,266 --> 00:35:35,586
marehemu. Alikuwa na mbili

575
00:35:35,586 --> 00:35:37,746
majeraha ya wazi.

576
00:35:38,506 --> 00:35:39,866
Na mama yako akatoka jikoni

577
00:35:39,866 --> 00:35:41,426
akipiga kelele na akampiga risasi.

578
00:36:07,187 --> 00:36:10,067
Na sebuleni, ulipata yako

579
00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:10,347
mama.

580
00:36:13,347 --> 00:36:16,147
Mama yako alikuwa hapa. Jason alikuwa

581
00:36:16,147 --> 00:36:18,707
pamoja na mama yako. Yeye

582
00:36:18,707 --> 00:36:21,667
kwa kweli alimfyatulia risasi Jason kwenye barabara ya ukumbi,

583
00:36:22,067 --> 00:36:24,547
lakini hawakumwua papo hapo.

584
00:36:25,587 --> 00:36:27,267
Jason aliweza kuamka

585
00:36:28,427 --> 00:36:31,187
na kwenda nje sebuleni na kulala

586
00:36:31,187 --> 00:36:32,067
chini na mama yako.

587
00:37:07,509 --> 00:37:10,229
Hii ndio tuliyopata kwa goti,

588
00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:12,389
kushoto kwa mlango. Damu, nywele,

589
00:37:13,509 --> 00:37:14,069
ngozi.

590
00:37:16,389 --> 00:37:19,069
Hapa ndipo ulipopigwa risasi. Ulipanda juu

591
00:37:19,069 --> 00:37:22,029
ngazi. Uliingia kwenye

592
00:37:22,029 --> 00:37:24,229
bafuni. Unaweza kuona damu kwenye kuta

593
00:37:24,229 --> 00:37:24,469
hapa.

594
00:37:29,509 --> 00:37:31,669
Oh Hiyo ni kutoka kwako, kutoka kwa mikono yako.

595
00:37:33,669 --> 00:37:35,749
Ulitoka bafuni kurudi kwako

596
00:37:35,749 --> 00:37:38,390
kitandani, na ndivyo tulivyokupata kwenye

597
00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:38,710
kitanda.

598
00:37:42,630 --> 00:37:44,950
Kiasi cha damu kilinishtua sana.

599
00:37:45,670 --> 00:37:47,590
Kuna mambo niligundua kuwa mimi

600
00:37:47,590 --> 00:37:49,510
sikujua kilichotokea. nilikuwa na

601
00:37:50,390 --> 00:37:53,110
aliinuka kutoka pale nilipopigwa risasi na

602
00:37:53,110 --> 00:37:55,430
nilirudi chumbani kwangu, sikujua

603
00:37:55,830 --> 00:37:58,710
kwamba nilikuwa nimesimama bafuni. I

604
00:37:58,710 --> 00:38:01,430
kamwe hakujua hilo. I

605
00:38:01,430 --> 00:38:03,910
nadhani nilijisikia vizuri kitandani kwangu, kwa hivyo mimi

606
00:38:03,910 --> 00:38:06,870
tu akarudi yangu-- nyuma yangu

607
00:38:06,870 --> 00:38:08,950
chumba kwa ajili ya faraja. Ulirudi tena

608
00:38:09,190 --> 00:38:11,831
kitanda chako. Ndiyo. Na kwamba kimsingi

609
00:38:13,431 --> 00:38:16,271
tulichokuwa nacho wakati huo. Ulikuwa bado

610
00:38:16,271 --> 00:38:19,111
hai. Kwa hivyo sisi mara moja

611
00:38:19,111 --> 00:38:21,311
kukutoa nje ya nyumba na kuanza

612
00:38:21,311 --> 00:38:22,511
kukutendea na kukupeleka kwa

613
00:38:22,551 --> 00:38:25,471
hospitali. Yeye

614
00:38:25,511 --> 00:38:27,511
aliwaambia kila mtu kuwa alikuwa na shida

615
00:38:27,511 --> 00:38:29,111
na mama yako kwa sababu yake

616
00:38:29,111 --> 00:38:31,671
rafiki wa kike na kwamba alikuwa akimtia adabu

617
00:38:31,671 --> 00:38:33,151
muda wote kwa kuchelewa kufika nyumbani

618
00:38:33,151 --> 00:38:35,431
na vitu kama hivyo. Kwa makadirio yangu, ni

619
00:38:35,431 --> 00:38:37,431
ilikuwa ya kuzuia. Aliwaza kuhusu hili

620
00:38:37,431 --> 00:38:39,351
kabla hajafanya hivyo, na nadhani alifikiri

621
00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,791
kuhusu hilo kwa muda. sidhani

622
00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:42,791
ilikuwa tu kwamba ni msukumo wa jambo la sasa

623
00:38:42,791 --> 00:38:44,952
usiku huo. Siamini hilo hata kidogo.

624
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:48,232
ukigundua kuwa ni ndugu yako mwenyewe

625
00:38:50,232 --> 00:38:52,952
alifanya hivi, ni hivyo tu

626
00:38:53,512 --> 00:38:56,472
ya kutisha sana. Baada ya

627
00:38:56,472 --> 00:38:58,792
baada ya kuzungumza na mpelelezi

628
00:38:58,792 --> 00:39:01,352
jana na kuona picha, ni

629
00:39:01,352 --> 00:39:04,312
kama, sasa nina ngumu,

630
00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,312
ukweli wa nini

631
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:09,632
kilichotokea siku hiyo. Nimeona

632
00:39:09,632 --> 00:39:12,112
sasa hata hawakuwa na

633
00:39:12,112 --> 00:39:15,072
nafasi. Walikuwa tu…Wao

634
00:39:15,072 --> 00:39:17,993
walikuwa hawana ulinzi. Inanifanya nihisi a

635
00:39:17,993 --> 00:39:20,233
kidogo zaidi kwa urahisi kujua nini hasa

636
00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:22,793
kilichotokea, sio tu kile watu

637
00:39:23,273 --> 00:39:25,553
walikuwa wakiniambia. Inashangaza mimi bado

638
00:39:25,553 --> 00:39:26,233
hai.

639
00:39:40,793 --> 00:39:43,353
Kila baada ya miaka miwili, Brian ana msamaha

640
00:39:43,353 --> 00:39:46,073
kusikia. Kila baada ya miaka miwili, mimi hupigana

641
00:39:46,233 --> 00:39:48,794
ili kumweka gerezani, kila wawili

642
00:39:48,794 --> 00:39:51,074
miaka. sina budi

643
00:39:51,074 --> 00:39:53,714
kumbuka jinamizi la

644
00:39:53,754 --> 00:39:56,714
siku hiyo. I

645
00:39:56,714 --> 00:39:59,274
lazima uandike barua kuelezea

646
00:39:59,274 --> 00:40:02,114
kwa bodi ya parole ndio maana yeye

647
00:40:02,114 --> 00:40:02,994
haipaswi kutoka nje.

648
00:40:05,114 --> 00:40:07,954
Ambao inaweza wasiwasi, nina

649
00:40:07,954 --> 00:40:10,634
imefahamishwa kuwa Brian yuko tayari kwa msamaha

650
00:40:10,634 --> 00:40:13,354
tena. Kama pekee aliyesalia

651
00:40:13,354 --> 00:40:15,594
mwathirika, ninaandika barua hii kuuliza

652
00:40:15,594 --> 00:40:17,834
kwamba msamaha wake ukataliwe mara ya pili.

653
00:40:18,554 --> 00:40:20,755
Miaka 26 na nusu imepita tangu

654
00:40:20,755 --> 00:40:23,595
mauaji yalifanyika. Ina nini

655
00:40:23,595 --> 00:40:26,555
Brian amefanya katika hizi 26 na nusu zilizopita

656
00:40:26,555 --> 00:40:28,515
miaka ya kumuandaa kwa maisha ya nje

657
00:40:28,515 --> 00:40:31,355
jela? Je! unajua kwa hakika

658
00:40:31,355 --> 00:40:32,955
kwamba Brian asingekasirika

659
00:40:32,955 --> 00:40:35,755
kitu kingine na kupiga na kuua mtu

660
00:40:35,755 --> 00:40:38,475
mwingine?Kwa nini niwe

661
00:40:38,475 --> 00:40:40,395
kulazimishwa kuwa na hofu kwa muda wote wa maisha yangu

662
00:40:40,395 --> 00:40:43,235
maisha?wasiwasi kwamba Brian anaweza kushambulia

663
00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:45,995
mimi au watoto wangu na wapendwa wangu.

664
00:40:48,635 --> 00:40:51,355
Haina mwisho kwangu. Kila mwaka,

665
00:40:51,755 --> 00:40:54,316
si haki kwamba mimi lazima

666
00:40:55,596 --> 00:40:56,956
endelea kukumbuka hili.

667
00:40:58,476 --> 00:41:01,036
Lakini ninafanya ili kusaidia

668
00:41:01,036 --> 00:41:03,596
weka Brian gerezani

669
00:41:03,596 --> 00:41:05,676
kwa sababu hastahili

670
00:41:06,476 --> 00:41:09,356
uhuru. Aliwaua watatu

671
00:41:09,356 --> 00:41:12,076
watu. Mmoja asiye na hatia

672
00:41:12,076 --> 00:41:14,996
mtoto ambaye hata hakuwa na mwanzo

673
00:41:14,996 --> 00:41:17,756
ya maisha, na anayo

674
00:41:17,756 --> 00:41:19,036
hakuonyeshwa majuto.

675
00:41:26,877 --> 00:41:29,677
Maumivu kutokana na kile alichokifanya, kamwe

676
00:41:29,677 --> 00:41:30,317
huenda mbali.

677
00:41:32,717 --> 00:41:34,237
Inakaa papa hapa.

678
00:41:37,277 --> 00:41:39,877
Ndio maana Tattoo niliyopata ni

679
00:41:39,877 --> 00:41:41,237
moja kwa moja kwa moyo wangu.

680
00:41:43,517 --> 00:41:45,437
Hapo ndipo wazazi na kaka yangu wanakaa.

681
00:41:48,317 --> 00:41:50,637
Daima ziko moyoni mwangu, daima ndani yangu

682
00:41:50,637 --> 00:41:51,357
mawazo.

683
00:41:57,117 --> 00:41:59,678
Brian, umepata sentensi rahisi.

684
00:42:00,478 --> 00:42:02,158
Watu wa nje ndio hao

685
00:42:02,158 --> 00:42:04,318
ambayo ina-- ambayo ni mateso.

686
00:42:07,998 --> 00:42:10,878
Na njia pekee ambayo itaisha ni

687
00:42:10,878 --> 00:42:12,558
ikiwa atafia gerezani.